The fart is recorded, classified and filed. On your phone. Nobody else hears it.

Fartzam is an acoustic analysis unit with one job. Tap RECORD, do your duty, tap again. The unit returns an official verdict in a dead-serious register, then mints the event as a card you keep.

1. Record. Tap to start, tap to stop. The phone pulses with every burst.
2. Verdict. Five readouts: delivery, intensity, duration, moisture, pattern. 56 compound types across 6 rarity tiers, Common to Mythic. One deadpan observation.
3. Card. Every fart is minted on arrival as a unique digital collectible card, serial FZ- plus twelve characters. Keep it in the vault or press SHARE FART.

Your audio never leaves your device.

No cloud, no account, no surveillance. Inference runs entirely on your phone. When you share, you choose what goes and to whom, through your phone's own share sheet. Read the privacy notice.